first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
