i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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