Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Holy sore nipples Batman
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
