Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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