Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
