We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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