Pappa wants mamma naked
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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