some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
