Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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