I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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