you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
