why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
