Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
