So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
