Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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