Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Nipple clamps can be ambiguous

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water

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(818): View more from California

he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.

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