oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.