You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
