Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.