Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.

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  (248): did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there. http://tfl.nu/0o4m
  Replies (6) Good night (1555) Bad night (808)
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  (650): View more from California

  I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.

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  (650): I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs. http://tfl.nu/bo8w
  Replies (7) Good night (1869) Bad night (704)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.

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  (609): ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise. http://tfl.nu/slpx
  Replies (13) Good night (2903) Bad night (610)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP

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  (307): yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP http://tfl.nu/4nbd
  Replies (8) Good night (3276) Bad night (819)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.

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  (616): Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up. http://tfl.nu/sgel
  Replies (132) Good night (1428) Bad night (30438)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.

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  (828): Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end. http://tfl.nu/rcny
  Replies (27) Good night (2696) Bad night (5169)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend

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  (918): He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend http://tfl.nu/82q6
  Replies (5) Good night (2760) Bad night (871)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.

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  (705): I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night. http://tfl.nu/p7qx
  Replies (1) Good night (1567) Bad night (939)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation

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  (319): ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation http://tfl.nu/4iz3
  Replies (13) Good night (1182) Bad night (1066)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow

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  (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://tfl.nu/bjeb
  Replies (5) Good night (2000) Bad night (608)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.

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  (+44): Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine. http://tfl.nu/vcvu
  Replies (0) Good night (980) Bad night (387)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.

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  (337): Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again. http://tfl.nu/azre
  Replies (2) Good night (806) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?

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  (832): Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you? http://tfl.nu/bmw9
  Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (359)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.

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  (732): we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now. http://tfl.nu/37ul
  Replies (2) Good night (793) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.

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  (518): Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys. http://tfl.nu/ykpm
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (212)

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