Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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