Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :( http://tfl.nu/pd8d
  Replies (26) Good night (641) Bad night (3699)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/kuio
  Replies (24) Good night (3012) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy. http://tfl.nu/gwon
  Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (2912)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation? http://tfl.nu/9fzj
  Replies (7) Good night (3277) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together http://tfl.nu/zzdp
  Replies (50) Good night (3737) Bad night (5519)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents. http://tfl.nu/w3i6
  Replies (8) Good night (3582) Bad night (1752)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy. http://tfl.nu/6ng1
  Replies (5) Good night (3914) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am. http://tfl.nu/2bm2
  Replies (9) Good night (2104) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real... http://tfl.nu/t9kl
  Replies (14) Good night (1166) Bad night (4488)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion? http://tfl.nu/x6xu
  Replies (6) Good night (619) Bad night (1979)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field. http://tfl.nu/ntdj
  Replies (6) Good night (1896) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (787): Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now. http://tfl.nu/rhtn
  Replies (6) Good night (786) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one. http://tfl.nu/2j08
  Replies (3) Good night (830) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night http://tfl.nu/kgui
  Replies (1) Good night (399) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to. http://tfl.nu/t8ue
  Replies (3) Good night (762) Bad night (220)

Randomize