white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
