nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm getting married
To pizza
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
