For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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