whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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