Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you had me at cake vodka
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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