just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
