Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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