I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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