That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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