he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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