Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
