Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
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Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
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Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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