Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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