Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
