I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
