Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
