i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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