no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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