Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
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At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
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he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I think my moral compass just broke
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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