There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
