Pappa wants mamma naked
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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