She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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