I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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