yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize