I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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