I want you more than these girls want KFC
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
