the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
