Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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