It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
