pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
People in love make me want to vomit
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize