I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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