need another drink. this is the easiest way
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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