I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today