Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.