Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.