Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I like my sex mixed with concussions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I like my sex mixed with concussions. http://tfl.nu/qysd
  Replies (6) Good night (1069) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  My mind said no, but my drink said yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): My mind said no, but my drink said yes. http://tfl.nu/mirc
  Replies (2) Good night (2254) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up http://tfl.nu/rtem
  Replies (23) Good night (3599) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not? http://tfl.nu/k8n6
  Replies (37) Good night (3281) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone. http://tfl.nu/mzb6
  Replies (7) Good night (1382) Bad night (2700)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you. http://tfl.nu/e0pj
  Replies (39) Good night (5187) Bad night (2202)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund http://tfl.nu/xo4q
  Replies (6) Good night (2836) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends.... http://tfl.nu/5sph
  Replies (7) Good night (2005) Bad night (2254)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives http://tfl.nu/2jnq
  Replies (7) Good night (1865) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference? http://tfl.nu/d4sd
  Replies (7) Good night (1840) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/vgl2
  Replies (22) Good night (2312) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Why do you need me to cover for work?

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Why do you need me to cover for work? (608): I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen. http://tfl.nu/izqg
  Replies (8) Good night (1057) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize. http://tfl.nu/dbij
  Replies (3) Good night (840) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me! http://tfl.nu/6u48
  Replies (8) Good night (859) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask. http://tfl.nu/f2ag
  Replies (3) Good night (750) Bad night (147)

Randomize