I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
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i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.