I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.