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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.

  Fav 16 4884 770

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Aloha alcoholism.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?

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