Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..