Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now

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(847): View more from Illinois

The panties match.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

I'll be right there.

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(360): View more from Washington

Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.

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(925): View more from California

She still cant shoot whiskey?

(925): View more from California

Im having serious doubts about this relationship

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm a pro at the other 9-5

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

WE ARE DOOMED.

(774): View more from Massachusetts

And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.

(860): View more from Connecticut

it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure

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