it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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