you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
