found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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