Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
