Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
