You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
