wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
