Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
