I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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