if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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