I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize